I can remember the moment I got my first set of car keys, that freedom at my fingertips, dreaming about for so long that this new world of possibilities and responsibilities was opening up. That’s the thing about keys. They unlock something for us and give us access.
Today I want to talk about a difficult conversation, a difficult topic, “grief.” When we think about grief, most of us think about death and the loss of a loved one. But the truth is, grief is so much more than that.
“Grief is about letting go of what is in the past that w’e’re capable of reaching for, to what’s in the future. Grief is actually the bridge that we take between the pain of loosing something, and then the hope of something in the future. “
Asheley Edelen
Psychology defines grief as the process we go through to deal with loss, and loss can be of anything, whether it’s a dream, a plan, a job, a loved one, or a momentum, but it’s just a loss. And then the thing for that is that even that definition of grief is too narrow because it doesn’t talk about the purpose and meaning behind grief.
For me, grief is about letting go of what is in the past that we’re capable of reaching for to what’s in the future. Grief is this bridge that we take between the pain of losing something and the hope of something in the future. Right now, as we experience all this uncertainty in the world and all this loss, we’re surrounded by loss of life, connection, relationships, and jobs. All this loss around us is a time when we need to grieve.
Losing a loved one, job or relationship can tear the fabric of our life. When someone dies near us, the world’s color can fade when grief comes. We all ask a thousand questions; why? Could I have done anything else? Did we have another minute? How to get out of this abyss of a situation? How are you feeling? How to rebuild your life or move into the life you have?
Sometimes, in grief or even the fall of a loved one, we quickly see God’s hand; at other times, we feel that we do not see it at all. The mourners in Lazarus ‘ Tomb asked the same questions as us, and let us not forget that Jesus also wept (John 11: 12).11:35). Mourning serves a purpose, and we can find that this goal is the open path to healing. This goal can be anything; it can be something we need to do, someone we need to help, or something we need to believe in. Anyway, grief means finding that meaning so that we can heal, and for this, we need Hope.
God has all the answers, and we don’t, it seems. We are looking for reasons, and “why?” become higher if we do not understand it. Why grow in number and volume? Why did God let this happen? Why Does God take the right people so fast? Why? It’s just human to doubt our pain and look for a reason – this is part of the healing process we must go through. Understanding loss is all we want to know, and yet we don’t understand it.
In Christ, we all have Hope above all that this world can contain. God is so much greater than the pain in which we live, and he feels our sorrow. Christ died for us so we could receive and make moments like grief … something we can get through. In faith, through Christ, hope genuinely exists. The pain will slowly disappear, and our broken hearts will be healed forever. So like my first car keys, grief is the key to unlocking this new world of hope for the future.
So today, I want to invite you into an uncomfortable space, difficult conversations of grieving together because while each of our stories is different, each of the losses we have experienced is different. Our grief is not unique. All of us are grieving right now. And so I want to invite a communal time of grief this week just to sit in this uncomfortable space to take the pain that we’ve been experiencing together to grieve and to bridge and to access this hope in and future of tomorrow. So join me this week and grieve. Grieve the losses. We can have the hope that God offers us.